I lost my bestfriend..

..no not lost as in where did she go.
Lost. Lost as in gone forever, she ended our friendship. Not to be a drama queen about it. It wasn't a sudden thing, I moved very far away three years ago, we used to keep contact but lets just say I dealt with it by shutting out reality and going into a depression for two and a half years(not that I'm any less depressed now) and she dealt with it, with drugs. It's not fair really that she can just drink my memory away and pretend I never existed as I'm curled up in a ball, rocking and imagining different methods of suicide.
Anyway, I'm quite the retard-in-denial as it took a FACEBOOK STATUS to clue me in to our obliterated "bestfriendship". Here it is : -blah blah blah personal-stuff-about-her-family-that-I-should-write-here-so-I'm-blahing-instead blah ... "best friends aren't forever..because you just left .." . Yes folks, I left AGAINST MY WILL. I cried a freaking ocean and deliberated on if I should run away and be a homeless person or not. Guess who I never got to say bye to. That's correct, my "EXBFF".
So after seeing this status and also reminiscing on the things that led up to this like, her "untagging herself from all the pictures or me and her, her excessive drinking, her one worded answers to me, her never talking to me first, her never calling me ONCE in the three years I was gone and more... I sent a pathetic facebook message to her saying how much I missed her.
I'm fucking clinging on for dear life and I don't want to let go, SORRY for being stubborn.
*sigh* Wish me luck and trying to fix this mess, I'll need it.

PS: Here's the message.. (awkward!)
"Hi I really miss you, and when I say miss, that's an understatement because its basically killing me. And it kills me even more to have one word conversations every now and then with you. we're losing touch and drifting apart and I don't want that to happen. Moving was the worst thing that ever happened to me. I'm fucking sorry this had to happen and I'm trying to keep contact and stay your best friend, but its like i've already been replaced and forgotten. Three years shouldn't be enough to trash a friendship. I want to be there for you, and since i cant be physically then i should be emotionally, but I don't know shit. nobody keeps me updated and i feel helpless. I've waited 3 years and I'll wait for the rest of my life. I love you that much and nothing will ever change that. You'll always be my best friend, forever ♥ no matter how far you are, no matter how long I'm gone, you will always be with me"

Isn't that a pittyfest. I disgust myself.